Reluctant

okay, today is 7th of sept

1oth of sept will fly back to KL

11th/9 will be reg my hostel

12th/9 first day of class

tell you what!!!

i am not ready yet back to the university

now i am questioning my decision to choose this course!!!

ow Lord please help me..

confuse!!!

astga

memang gila!!

bodoh

sowt

i dunno how i face this

its been years

no progress or changes

should i change myself though??

from what aspect??

astga!!

i am dying of loneliness and fucked up..

short updates

- x lama lagi mau sambung study

-takut pn ada..

-masuk course yg x pernah imagine aq akan masuk

- xpa...hope all the best

- ada lg kA mw urus ne?? haha

- gaji aq blm masuk..mcm mna mw shopingg *big oops*

like seriously

- cuti yg lama ne telah buatkn aq reluctant to leave Sabah

-My heart glued to Sabah suda

- ada penyesalan dalam memilih ipt tahun lepas

-xpa la semua ada hikmah dia

ok, be strong..God bless..xx

???

life macam biasa ja,
did do some part time on tuesday and wednesday

ow, i did transfer some of my airtime to her so she can sms her bf dgn mudah

dan sy xreply suda sms tu sbb sy mau bg ruang sama dorang

kn sweet kn...babi la sweet, mau meletupx ada la..sial!!

xpa la, relax, cool je..

tak pa...before this pun pernah kena macam ne, so macam kisah kn

hidup jg..life must goes on...

p/s the couple i mentioned above is my students when i was a substitute teacher in their school/.:P

blalallala

Face the Music

life is so unfair!!!

fairness and justice

working hard to achieve these 2

and i speak up for my self!!!

why i cant have my on justice

be fair on me as well

you might say i am selfish!!

but hey...so you think you are consider enough to others!!

don't you ever wanted yourselves to have the special treat and look!!!

and i am facing this!!

i wonder hows on earth myself was built to face this

stronger and stronger!!!!

bodoh!!!!l

it is so hard

biarlah saya malas mahu kisah sudah

kah diri saya saja fikir saya yang terlampau kisah benda-benda macam ini

sakit hati, sakit otak...

so nanti saya mahu tinggal alone la

hahaha

p/s saya mahu deactivate lagi facebook sy

back to normal

mulai besok...sy jadi penganggur semula

sy resign kerja sy sebagai guru ganti pada hari ini

contract sy habis ne hari

sedih sy

a lot of memories with the school.

miss all my kids already..:)

summer job

and tomorrow 11thjune 2011

will be my resignation day of being a substitute teacher

should be sad

will miss the kids....

the experiences gained, funs and talks

i had the courage

and today i talked in front of the 6A class during my periods

i talk please change yourself and respect others..

you and i are the same, both of us are students

but please control yourself

i dunno if the 2 persons really 'terasa'

but honestly i dun want lose them both and the rest of it

it is such an awkward thing to enter their class again

tomorrow will be the first period of the day..

haihz...but I already let go what i feel

then yet no sounds of relieve

p/s suda minta maaf kunun tu betina tp still ckp benda yg sama jg..FUCK U betina..kena panggil baby knn..GO TO HELL!!

fuck them!!

hoi budak2 sekalian!!!

kalau umur pn blm cukup!!

akil baligh pn belum dicapai

jangan mahu mengada2 menunjuk2 sana

kalau kamu tu cakap jak lebih apa guna...fuck you sy ckp!!!

kalau kmu blm kenal sy jangan mw mengada maw pijak kepala sana!!!

kamu tengok, satu hari, akan ada pembalasan dia

saya mcm xkisah kn..tp dalam hati sepa tw

baik2 jg, tp jgn smp mw melebihi batas

hingus pn blm pndi lap!!

UPSR pn blm sure 5As suda mw menunjuk2..

sialan!!!

1.How did we meet? 2. How long have I known you? 3. What's my most memorable moment with you? 4. Do you mean a lot to me? 5. Word to describe me? 6. What you love most about me? 7. What you hate most about me? send to all you follow ;)

1.How did we meet? 2. How long have I known you? 3. What's my most memorable moment with you? 4. Do you mean a lot to me? 5. Word to describe me? 6. What you love most about me? 7. What you hate most about me? send to all you follow ;)

Answer here

i'm in love???

actually kn..sebenarnya la...aq suka jadi single ne...

ramai jg (ramai ke?) yg tnya aq..ada GF ka teda..

jwb ja teda..napa pula teda GF??

sbb aq suka single..

aq malas nak fikir psl2 coupling ne..couple2 thingy...

but i adore lovely couple and i pray for everyone who is in relationship to be blessed, enjoy and cherish in your relationship..

for me, let time decides it..as God decides what the best for all of us

plus, i am still young to think seriously about getting in a serious relationship..

just my share thought and my opinion..:)

lalala

its been quite a long time i didnt post anything...

alrite...now 2 more days before school break will be ended..

so i will get back to work after soon..

just reached sabah 2days ago from KL + Kelantan

my sister wedding...the pictures still in my lappy...no mood for uploading it to any of social networking sites...speaking of these kinds of sites, i recently deactivated my FB account on 12am midnite...haha..sound epic rite?? haha...there is no obvious reason why i did so, but yet let it keep personally ok...till we meet next time..

p/s my Malaysian University English Test @MUET will be announced this coming monday whic is 13th June, hope everything turn well as I hope, please Band 4..pray for me peeps..:)

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/cyclade

sy yg sombong ka?? atau org memang teda mw kwn sm sy..

teda org tnya khabar pn sy..

sy on9 pon teda org mw chat sma sy..sandih ba hidup,,

org2 yg sy mksdkn ialah my friends..

or

do i really have friends that accept me as their friends??

give some life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

i was wondering..entah la..mcm mna mw ckp..em...bukan apa la ln..friends d fb aq smp 700 lebih la jg ba kn..kadang2 org on9 smp 60-70 lebih..tp xsorang pn yg mw chat sma aq..mesti tnggu sy ka...haiz..sandih ba hidup..mcm teda kwn ba!! kima ba ne..sakit btl jiwa sy...tolong la sy..:(((((

be strong..:)

xpa la..even though i feel neglected and left out here..

nvm..

maybe sy yg xpndai bergaul sma org ba..2la smp mcm xkwn ne sy skrg..

boring..2 mmg boring la..sepa ckp xboring..klu suda xkwn kn..

tp ntah la..mcm mna sy boleh teruskn hidup dgn memandang the next day will be more greater day..pn xtw..praise to God..em..

mmg sedih la..terasa hati la..klu dorang cerita2 bnda yg d luar pengetahuan sy..dorang xinvite pn sy..xpa la...pa ble bt..bukan sy d terima dorang...actually..hidup sy kosong,empty..and sy boleh ckp ..sy xkwn yg boleh dengar pa masalah sy..sma share the great and sad time..sy hidup secara berseorangan...tp..as my quote says..live your live...God always be with you...huh...biarla..sy pn xtw lg pa mo ckp...seek a true friend/s mmg susah kn..:(((((..im dying inside..

and yeah!!!

officially now..my long hols is already started!!

alrite..it is a long100x hols..

then..need to plan sumtng..

working-yes

dunno wut??

going back to the land below the wind!!!!

@klia now!!!

going back to Sabah at 1.05!!!!

for a long holiday!!!!

eager!!!!!

happy!!1

thanks God for everything!!!! bless our journey!!!

p/s: i miss my family in css shah alam oledy..:(

FUN.HAPPY

EXAM IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

OW GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY FOUNDATION YEAR IS COMING TO END

HOPE ALL MY EXAM PAPERS WILL PASS SUCCESSFULLY.AMEN.I TRIED MY BEST.

THANKS GOD FOR EVERYTHING..

GOSH...HAPPY!!!

life must goes on

- alrite..LAW 3 WAS DONE NOT-ALMOST-SATISFIED-

.PRAY THAT ALL GOING FINE FOR MY EXAM RESULT

-2papers more..struggling until the end

-watch HIKAYAT MERONG MAHAWANGSA yesterday at TGV JJ bt.raja

.it was fine..not so bad.ok la..

-life seems a bit complicated now

-thanks for my bro.F.. u appeared when i am in the lifeless mode though i was a lil'bit meant semalam..hehe

-ok my roomates are still sleeping..

-haha..eating breakfast now

-texting with my bro

-notes on my sides of the table

-hence<---?? what the heck..

. continues study

CONTEMPORARY GLOBAL AND LEGAL ISSUE

AND

ECONOMIC ISSUE AND PROBLEM

TACKLE YOU UNTIL PIECES

BY THAT,,hehe..i rest my case..toddles..:))

hv a nice day.:)

okay fine

- coincidence happened..nothing akward

- 2 papers down

-3 more to go

-tomorrow is a killer subject

-God please help me through this circumstance

- grant me ur blessing of wisdom

- today is a nice hang out day..i feel happy with the hang out today..after church.:))

okay..continue to study..

p/s i am incompetent to enter the examination tomorrow as i am the unsoundness of mind..hahaha...miahah..ok..:::)))

baiklah

FINAL EXAM IS COMING

SO WRAP IT UP

DESTINY

FUTURE

LIES IN UR HAND

born this way

what to write???

nothing to be updated..

masalah diri makin menjadi2.

impak emosional tidak stabil makin meruncing

damn la klu mcm ni...

sakit hati..kecewa..tersisih..

semoga harapan dan kegembiraan dapat ditemui

hati semakin sakit...

harap xexplode..

cyrill be strong,,:)

okay fine...

sejak aq dr form 4 la kn..em tmbh2 la sikit..hujung2 tahun da kn..aq mcm bnyk fikir benda..

*ok fine actually aq xtw the real time is..mcm rasanya form 4 kot..huhu

bg aq kn...LIFE means a lot of things..LIFE is subjective..susah mw describe life kita...

for example..diri sy..sy pn xtw i lead what kind of life...MANY SCHOLARS quotes life is HARD, life is sacrifice, life is*many things lg la!!! but for me..in my personal view..we have just one life..hidup ne satu kali jax..kadang2 sy rasa kecew dengan diri sy..sebab sy rasa sy telah banyak mensia2kn hidup sy for the past 19years.. banyak benda want to be achieved..but we cannot aim high and tackle all of them in one time..apa lg sy mw ckp ah...pengalaman sy la..xbanyak mana pn pengalaman sy...sy nmpk la several things yg sy blh fikir sendiri..but i admired one of my friends..his life experienced is so many where he can sees people well..nmpk kita jax..blh tw suda apa..but every person had their own gift from God..thanks be to God..apa yg sy mw ckp..appreciate life..live your life tp ingat..God is there..mcm mna pn we lead our life..we still live under the eyes of our Creator..life is abstract...so be a good person..and enjoy life

stop and quit

dear mr cyc!!!!!

please stop dreaming things that cant be fulfilled...

it is nice and interesting to dream like that but in reality it will never be in such way!!!

so stop it..focus on ur study and pray hard..so God will grants things that I should appreciate..

so stop dreamin!!

pray for the safety in egypt..

okay..there is conflict in egypt..

news are keep broadcasting the news

i cant contact with my friends in egypt..

the dont have internet connection now..

ow..i am really scared with their safety..

this is never happen because..my friends are there..

in fact my BFF is there..

i did hit him with coment in his blog..because FB already been blocked there...

but, yet, no reply..

recent report from wisma putra tolda that they are doing fine..

so i hope so the are really doing fine..and the latest news i heard they will be transferred out from cairo, egypt..*not very sure..so i hope, they will be in safe condition and always in aware..\

ow gosh..i hope they will be saved..and let us pray for Malaysian safety in egypt and also the peace in egypt..hope, all will be fine soon..

symbolises freedom

i highlighted my hair with new color

huhu...even my previous color is still there..but i layered them with new color

dark auburn..haha

its still in process..

later at 10.50..

i'll wash it

my new obsession!!!!!

checkered shirts is my new obsession!!! so..hehe..can someone gv me this as a present..huhu..:))

damn smart

miahahaha

boringnya..

tiada FB ne..

huhu..xtw pa mo bt..

bt assignment la..

jap lg la

hahaha

huhuhu

malas

kegilaan datang

nak keluar ka x ah besuk

em//mw bw sepa

sepa mw kluar sma sy bsuk???

hahaha

LALALALA

OKAY...

for your information

informasi untuk anda semua la.

saya telah mempasifkan account FB sy

or in other words, i already deactivated my FB account

due to several reasons...yg mna susah untk di luahkn secara verbal mahu pun coretan lebih2 lagi d alam maya ini..dengan itu hanya tunggu sahaja bila saya akan mengaktifkn blog sy semula..

selain itu, saya sekarang lapr..fulus d dompet hanya rm5..ingin meminta namun x dsahut panggilan itu..makan mee segera FAMA la nampaknya ini..haha..

sekali lagi ayat yg boleh abaikan.

..saya ingin melarikan diri,

.haa.:))

dunno..xtw...

em..apa nak post ye!!!!
huu..tuntuntan hidup makin meningkat...
tugasan diberi semakin banyak...
perasaan makin xmenentu..malas nak melayan..makin dia datang
berangan2kn benda yg xakan datang,..
hanya mampu di impikan tanpa kepastian..klu menjadi baik la dia;..ku panjatkn syukur...
kalau tidak..biarlah menelan..janya kepuasan dalam mimpi..
mahu menjadi pelajar yg baik bagi mencapai keputusan yang cemerlang utuk memegang segulung kertas yg bermakna dlm 4 atau 5 tahun lg..setelah berjuang dlm medan menutut ilmu hampir 15tahun..tapi adakah sikap sebegini saya mampu menjadikannya sebagai realiti..
saya celaru..suka mencipta konflik tersendiri..bagaimana mengatasinya..
melangkah jauh...kaki masih terpacak di tanah...bagai cuba mengail 10 ekor ikan dlm sekelip mata..hsilnya 1 ekor pn belum mapu setelah 5 jam menunggu..
fikiran sxtabil..xtw kenapa..sukar mencari identiti di sini..hati hanyut..belum jumpa teman yg sejati..bolehka sy melarikan diri??

trying to Stand

sometimes i couldnt understand myself..
sangat la suka mencipta intra konflik yg tersendiri
people wouldn't know cy!!!
and they will never know..
dun be such a dumb
expecting for it
budu!!!!!!!!!!konflik dlm diri
ko ingt dorang akan fikir
x ne!!! jgn jadi gyla
as ur friend said: tua suda ko..jgn lae mw merajuk2!!!!
haihz.... 2 la pasal ko selalu down
intra konflik means you are creating ur own probz in ur heart and expecting people to know by your reaction or ur Action!!!!
mow i declared it as stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!
duh!!!!please lah cyc...
now u can laugh by ur own to urself...
-_______________-

tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS WEEK DEMANDS A LOT OF PHYSICAL AND MENTAL REACTION
OW DAMN..EVERY NIGHT GOT A DISCUSSION
EVERYDAY NEW THINGS NEED TO BE UPLOADED..
OW GOSH..NEXT WEEK GOT 2 PRESENTATION
HUH!!!!
GOD..GUIDE ME, GIVE ME STRENGTH AND WISE,,LEAD ME TO DO THIS ALL..AMEN..

birthday

my sweet 19th

gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!today is 6th january 2011 and i am 16th today ..okay its a lie..19th..omged!!!!!!!!!!!!i feel really old..it is last year that i will be entitled with 1 in front..next year will be 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg...haha..never mind..
so with this..i wish that
-i study better
-i achieved my goal
- be a better persom
-be more nice and considerate person
-be a faithful disciple to God..
-loving everyone..
-love myself better
-world peace..*amen...
God, i pray to you, thank you for everything that u grant me for this 19th year i live under the blessing from you, may I have another blast year under your guidance and make a change to me, and the world..bless me and rejoice me with your love..amen..

my sweet 19th