dunno..xtw...

em..apa nak post ye!!!!
huu..tuntuntan hidup makin meningkat...
tugasan diberi semakin banyak...
perasaan makin xmenentu..malas nak melayan..makin dia datang
berangan2kn benda yg xakan datang,..
hanya mampu di impikan tanpa kepastian..klu menjadi baik la dia;..ku panjatkn syukur...
kalau tidak..biarlah menelan..janya kepuasan dalam mimpi..
mahu menjadi pelajar yg baik bagi mencapai keputusan yang cemerlang utuk memegang segulung kertas yg bermakna dlm 4 atau 5 tahun lg..setelah berjuang dlm medan menutut ilmu hampir 15tahun..tapi adakah sikap sebegini saya mampu menjadikannya sebagai realiti..
saya celaru..suka mencipta konflik tersendiri..bagaimana mengatasinya..
melangkah jauh...kaki masih terpacak di tanah...bagai cuba mengail 10 ekor ikan dlm sekelip mata..hsilnya 1 ekor pn belum mapu setelah 5 jam menunggu..
fikiran sxtabil..xtw kenapa..sukar mencari identiti di sini..hati hanyut..belum jumpa teman yg sejati..bolehka sy melarikan diri??

trying to Stand

sometimes i couldnt understand myself..
sangat la suka mencipta intra konflik yg tersendiri
people wouldn't know cy!!!
and they will never know..
dun be such a dumb
expecting for it
budu!!!!!!!!!!konflik dlm diri
ko ingt dorang akan fikir
x ne!!! jgn jadi gyla
as ur friend said: tua suda ko..jgn lae mw merajuk2!!!!
haihz.... 2 la pasal ko selalu down
intra konflik means you are creating ur own probz in ur heart and expecting people to know by your reaction or ur Action!!!!
mow i declared it as stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!
duh!!!!please lah cyc...
now u can laugh by ur own to urself...
-_______________-

tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS WEEK DEMANDS A LOT OF PHYSICAL AND MENTAL REACTION
OW DAMN..EVERY NIGHT GOT A DISCUSSION
EVERYDAY NEW THINGS NEED TO BE UPLOADED..
OW GOSH..NEXT WEEK GOT 2 PRESENTATION
HUH!!!!
GOD..GUIDE ME, GIVE ME STRENGTH AND WISE,,LEAD ME TO DO THIS ALL..AMEN..

birthday

my sweet 19th

gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!today is 6th january 2011 and i am 16th today ..okay its a lie..19th..omged!!!!!!!!!!!!i feel really old..it is last year that i will be entitled with 1 in front..next year will be 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg...haha..never mind..
so with this..i wish that
-i study better
-i achieved my goal
- be a better persom
-be more nice and considerate person
-be a faithful disciple to God..
-loving everyone..
-love myself better
-world peace..*amen...
God, i pray to you, thank you for everything that u grant me for this 19th year i live under the blessing from you, may I have another blast year under your guidance and make a change to me, and the world..bless me and rejoice me with your love..amen..

my sweet 19th

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!!!!

wrapping up 2010

it will be 2011 in few more hours!!!!!!!!!!
fuh!! 2010 is a year that changes my life so much...
is it?? guess so
2010 in a glance:
its my 1st year after high school
high school was over
SPM result was out
enrolled into one of the high learning institutions in Malaysia
i got my drving license
experienced many new experiences
met many beautiful and nice people
made a lot of tough decisions
i knew better about Christ..praise be to Lord..
learned many new things
landed on the course that i never think of to take..
brothers!!!!!!!!!!!i miss you..

good luck to all PMR candidates 2010

tomorrow is the big day yet not a dooms day
ggod luck to mrsm kota kinabalu PMR candidates 2010
hope you all will get a flying colours result!!!!!!!!!!
make our maktab proud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
especially to jamie, nathan, easleey, farelle, and the rest of you
good luck ok..dun b too nrvous..pray hard..sleep well..!!:))

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OW..PLEASE2..PLEASE GOD..HELP US..PLEASE LA ALLOWANCE MSK..HRP2 TOMORROW LA ELAUN MASUKK
I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE..PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!! kptm please be considerate please..we want to go shoping..we want to buy books, we want to pay a lot of things..ow duh..we jolly2 nt tym christmas..ow..i noe these are bad reasons but u'ol can see my pont there..kn..sighing2000X..
MR ELAUN MASUK LA ANDA....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SECPAT MUNGKIN..BUKAN LAE MYB..BESOK LA KO MASUK...:((((

5more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeepie.....it's just 5 more days before im heading back 2 Sabah.2 celebrate christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY..can't wait..mood mw pg kelas pn hilang2 suda ne..hahahah...today is the beginning of the 4rd advent..a week before Christmas..i went to the church today..and praise to the God that i'm be a ble to do my confession today..Alleluia..it is such a blessing for me..huhu...before going back, there is a lot of stuffs too be settled..ASsIGNMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

plus...ALLOWANCE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!please la masuk..be my guest of honor dlm account sy*quote miss syira here...sy mw shoping..wait here is the list to do

- after elaun masuk;
-shoping
>shirtS
>new jeans
>new bag
>shoes* mcm xpyh..minta sponsor FAMA..haha
>new pair of contact lens
>cut hair
>dye my hair*again
-settle of the payment
>books
>yuran*nt la..hahah
plus..enjoy2 d sabah nt.. gt plan olredy..haha
anything i miss???haha..hrp2 la i can spend mym money wisely..
before that..assignment yerh mR. cyc...jgn lupa assignment..jadi rajin sikit la ye..

apa lg mc ckp ne ah??elaun please la ba masuk..besok ah ko masuk..hahahah..dui ba...
ba yalah...assignment luk..haha

what else i can do

huh..life is hard..there is no deniable...
hopefully elaun masuk cepat2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1hopefully by tomorrow la..
tlg KPTM..masukkn la elaun kami a.s.a.p..by tomorrow ka
amen..
huhu..hopefully before christmas break,,,xda la apa2 big test supaya i can get ready and enjoy my christmas spirit..haha..and also after the break..a week later ka bru start apa2..supaya boleh blend in..haha
can't wait to get back for xmas..hahaha
my foster bro..the oldest one..please comment me...I hope u read diz...

3rd advent

now its the 3rd advent..2 more weeks before christmas..
lot of things to do
assignments
huh..gt a lil blurred on my legal system assignment
need to find a lot of articles regarding my thesis..haha
take a short break right now from searching articles..huhu...
gt persuasive speech to do and present tomorrow
and i am damn sleepy

back to college...

2nd week at university done!!!
nay..still a long time to go..im going crazy with all the assignments...but one thing for sure...i can't waiy fir christmas!!!!!!!!!yeah...but b4 dat lotsa things to do dammit...now at CC with my friend..haha..doing a lil criminal by staying out late..ahax

this what i feel

im feeling down and ALIENATED PLUS SECLUDED

in da middle of da nite, i am clueless..looking through my FB is totally boring and lame...i dunno why, i listening to da song 'love the way you lie' over and over again..then i switch 2 the clubbin rythm which club you cant handle me..im feeling down..im clueless, im full of fonder, i keep thinking bout my brories...there is also something that bothers me..ow how i realised im not such a faithful disciples of Jesus...im been through a lot of sins that i knew those are wrong and sinful, i love you Lord Jesus..be blessed..amen...writing helps me express my self..i think i am so stupid that create my own inner drama...ow gosh...i am lonely, people might see me as a jollyful and happy person, but da reality is i am lonely, nobody wanna chats with me at facebook..nobody wanna text me, nobody wanna greets me, do I the only one yg ingat dorang or memang sy yg ego..so in this case, me da one who really search for them..ow gosh..this is______________, memang macam ne ja la hidup sy..sy yg cr org kasi gembira sma kasi rapat hubungan...dorang xkisah pn sma sy..adei...Tuhan tolong la sy..bantu la sy..so tat means, i shud open my heart for love*ow damn...entah la, maybe memang sy org yg terpinggir and type of person yg pigi cr org..ow gosh..patutla org ckp sy ne xpandai malu..klu sy ckp sy malu, dorang heran.pukima jg kn..ow! i shud stop memaki..adeiz..sampai ada org ckp sy ne minta puji ba..pnya men sedih sy, sy pnya character memang mcm 2 la ba kn..entah la..sy sorang ja la ne kn yg take care of anybody else..klu cm2 kn.bgs sy hidup sorang2..budu..boring ba dunia!!!!!!!!! Do i really need to show my effort to find them..ee..sy bosan suda mcm ne ow,,,mcm kena guna2 jax ba,,kima2,,klu mo tw la kn..chatlist sy kadang smp 60orang online..tp kesian kn..sorang pn xchat sma sy..mcm palui ja la ne sy kn..bgs sy delete FB sy teruS..tp FB ne bagus..coz i can easy cr maklumat such as classes and also CSS schedule..i2 la 2 sy blm mw delete FB sy..adez..so kesian ow kn me,.kena bt cmne,,damn2..adei xtw lg la cmna mw ckp..nama jax ada kwn..tp sy rasa sy belum jumpa my true friend/s..sy btl pray and hope yg Tuhan akan tolong sy..or memang ada suda cuma sy jax yg xtw...ow Lord,please help me..ee...RECLUSE OW SY RSA!!!!!!!!!!sy sedih ow dgn hidup sy...xguna ow sy caring sma dorang..ka sy jax yg ego..xmw sms la kunun..xmw start conversation.then terus da lil'devil inside my heart ckp...takkan mesti ko jax kn..haha..dui ba.mcm ada bad and good sides ne on my both sides..

this is I want

is this the want i've been seeking for?

i want DSLR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love the sunset

stand alone..

well...em.hye,*no idea how to start this entry*
haha..life goes by as its shown..nothing much really this holiday..no new stuffs..boring as it is..lame as it feels, sucks as I can see..haha..
lalalal..dunno what to say..ok.. these are my words:

yesterday*..
went to KK..bought a new pair of spectacles..miahaha..smart la jg..ahax..quite ok..the went to suria...jalan2..padahal suria 2 mcm boring ne..xda pa2 pn..adess..penat jax berjalan..pas2 go 2 1B with my father long lost friend..but wait before kami smp 1b kn..dorang mw bergmbr dlu..i mean dorang mw snap pic sunset..wow..all of them ada DSLR..jealous ow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..huhu..i want one of like that..DSLR u will be and already be in my wish list..haha..smart ow sunset d sabah kn..bukan la bru sy sedar but really smart ow..yg penting penat berjalan klmrn..wtF..haha

ow gosh..exam result will be announced soon..sy takut ow..hopefully i'll get gempak pnya rsult..amin..*pray harder cyrill!! May God bless me..huhu...

wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after long time i din post anything here in my blog, then tiba2..ada mood plak mw berblogging ne mlm..haha..
ok 1st..to all my followers i wolud like to apologise for doesnt has the intention 2 blogging..haha..so sorry ok..its been a long time..really very2 long time..haha..well..my life had changed a lot..yes!!A lot. no doubt about that,,
being a student..well..a university student title!!DUh*..haha
landed on da course that i never dreamed of 2 be..then fly away from east to the almost west of malaysia..to be in da middle of the chaotic life..huh!!!
i dunno how i can changed my self from a bit to a massive changed in these 5 months or more...see..during i was staying in shah alam..i never grab the chance to update my blog..on the other hand when about 8 months ago, i was thinking blogging is such an opportunity for me to express my feeling then it turned down,haha..wow!!!...dear my blog..u had missed a lot of things that i should shared with you..haha..

well the real point i am writing here is.ok blog i know u noe..yap!!!
im been depressed again...for such along time also..i nvr suffer from this kind of feeling since during the post spm hols before..but then..being such alone in this long sem break makes me, i think fall into the depression again.. such have a feeling that they dun take care of me again., they dun want to know about me.they had the bad feeling..hence, i intend to deactivate my FB..but well, this is yet not a crucial circumstance, but i already took the baby steps where i dun log in often to my FB, but just look through the notifications via my email where i still can take a glance on what happen in my FB..i dunno.u noe that mr. blog, that feeling that we've been shared through ages ago..haha..so i can conclude here..PEOPLE IN FACEBOOK, THEY REALLY LET ME DOWN, IM TIRED OF IT,.plus all the brories made me sick..ok im feeling so guilty to tell it here, but i dun care..well, i think i had spent about rm 100++ to buy them for their souveniers..which is not a cheapskate materials but things that I dun have for myself..well..is this karma?? i just hope my karma is back..no!!!!!!! These already been destined by our Lord Jesus, praise to Him,im trying very hard*ok not too hard*..to have them back especially the eldest which is____________________okay i dunno what is the right word..but..duh!!!it just a piece of shit..i cant stand it anymore..the world makes me sick...it is such a tough life for me..i cant barely stand and defeat it!!!! The circumstances that i've been through make my self creates his own drama and own stupid mens rea..ow this is totally crap..i bullshit my self..i dunno..i've been bundled it for my own to take it alone and swallow it..but thanks be to God..i can digest it very well..where i digest it to pieces and let go..so i can move forward..wow its sucah a long entry..well NVM..it is a treat for my so-not-updated-blog..haha..okay..till then..